Words mean a lot to some people and less to others.
If words are important to your love why not write your sweetie a note to let them know how you feel .. or if you have writer’s block pop into a card shop and find the perfect message
Tag Archives: Romance
Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 8 . Be Happy
Have you ever tried walking round smiling all day? Smiling at strangers? As well as people thinking you’re slightly unhinged I’m sure others will have smiled back, because smiling is infectious!!
So when you see your baby tonight SMILE :-)))))))))) and see them catch it off you ..
Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 7 . Surprise Surprise
It’s good to be shifted out of our routines .. when you first met you’ll have talked and laughed and tried new things together, but once the relationship matures it’s easy to do the same things day to day. Research shows doing new things together stimulates us to feel affection and encourages us to communicate more.
So surprise your sweetie today .. with breakfast in bed, do a chore for them, a surprise gift, a special night out/in ..
Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 6 . Tell All
The number one thing couples ask for when I meet them for the first time is improved communication. What they often mean is how to disagree in a more graceful way, but also when a relationship goes wrong what is missing is a sense of appreciation for each other.
Research shows that 5 positive interactions to every 1 more difficult interaction serve to strengthen our bond and make disagreements easier to manage.
So get into good habits .. Tell your beloved what they did to make you happy today.
Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 5 . Get physical ..
Touch is sooo important in feeling connected, holding hands, being close, a hug .. and all too often I hear couples saying they don’t touch in affectionate ways any more because one of them is nervous it might be seen as a bid for sex.
Treat your sweetie to a shoulder rub today, and if this is an issue for your couple make it clear in advance that a shoulder rub MEANS just that, nothing more.
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Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 4 . Get texting
Maybe you text your sweetie all the time, but how many of those messages are about your relationship, especially if you’re managing a family together. Using all the opportunities to communicate our love and appreciation is vital in order to stay connected in the face of multiple responsibilities.
Text your sweetie you miss them today, even if it’s just from the shed!
Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 3 . Be Complimentary
It’s lovely to hear something nice about ourselves .. and how much nicer when it’s coming from someone we love. Find a reason to compliment your beloved today, whether it’s how they look, what they do or how they do it.
#adventcalendar #relationships #relate
Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 2 . Give thanks
Sharing gratitude is so important in our relationships and it’s such a shame that it so often gets lost in the busyness of our everyday lives. Stop and think how you might feel if someone thanked you for something you do every day at work for example .. now .. does it feel good?
Your challenge is to give your partner the gift of gratitude today .. Thank your sweetie for something they do for you today, or simply for being who they are.
Notice the difference that one small action makes, and consider making gratitude a bigger part of your relationships.
#adventcalendar #relationships #marriage #couples
How Grateful Are You?
November has been designated a month for Gratitude in both the USA and Britain for different reasons. In Europe we have a Day of Remembrance on the 11th and as we see the Remembrance poppies gradually appear on our streets we are reminded of ordinary people just like us who gave their lives so that we can live in peace.
Gratitude and giving thanks are incredibly powerful mindfulness practices that we can use in our lives to increase our wellbeing and nourish relationships. It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well, and equally as easy to let this slip when life takes over or gets challenging. This of course is when we need to flex our gratitude muscle the most.
Sharing our gratitude with others is so important and research in the field of Positive Psychology shows that we are more likely to feel and express gratitude when shown kindness by a stranger than towards those whose lives we share:
When was the last time you thanked your partner for being there for you?!
How do you think they might feel if you took that one step towards them?
For the past twenty years I’ve been marking each November by re-focussing on my daily gratitude practice, and more recently I’ve been using the power of social media to keep myself on track. Making a pledge to post something different that I’m grateful for every single day of November on Twitter or Facebook really helps get me back on track!
This year I’m using Instagram to give myself the extra little challenge of finding a nice image to go with each reflection. If you fancy following me you can check if I manage it, and I’d love you to join in! Or if you prefer to receive prompts there’s an online 30 Day Gratitude Challenge (not run by me) that you could sign up for .
And of course gratitude goes hand in hand with Kindness. There are lots of groups and projects springing up around kindness and compassion, with an excellent Facebook group in my area of Tyne and Wear that encourages members to both carry out and notice acts of kindness in their everyday lives.
So go ahead and try it, ask yourself once a day every day of November .. what am I grateful for right now?
References
Gratitude and Positive Psychology: What is Gratitude and What are the Benefits of Gratitude? Meade, Claire. http://positivepsychology.org.uk/gratitude/ accessed 8 November 2017.
The Truth about Internet Dating
This month I invited Carol Stoker from A Friendly Face introduction agency, to share her experiences around internet dating. She founded the agency after spending a few years becoming frustrated with dating through the internet.
“Internet dating is a massive business, catering for all sectors of the community and there are thousands of profiles out there. Freedom of choice is great, but there are downsides:
Rejection . Are you prepared for responses like “Not in a million years” and “I don’t date old women”? (I didn’t make these up, unfortunately).
Safety . You’re going on ‘blind dates’ every time you meet someone. You may have ‘spoken’ via email for weeks, but who are they really? TELL SOMEONE when and where you are going. DO NOT divulge personal details (eg where you live) until you have seen them a few times and seen some form of ID. I ask all my clients for a recent utility bill.
Photographs . It has been known for someone to use a picture of her better-looking sister as a profile picture (true story). Or more commonly photos are from five years ago. This is the biggest bugbear amongst internet daters I have spoken with.
They’re Married . If this doesn’t bother you then ok. But be aware of this if you’re joining a dating site to meet someone to spend the rest of your life with.
Time-wasters . The people who email for weeks and never meet up; they’re just passing time sitting on their computers. Or the people who reply, night after night, with short answers… “I’m ok, how are you?” “What you been up to?”
Social Isolation . You realise you never make the effort to go out with your friends and family anymore.
Scruffs . Your date turns up looking as though they haven’t bothered about their appearance, even though you have spent the last hour and a half making sure you look your best because he/she might be ‘The One!’
Friends with Benefits . And lastly, the men or women who meet you, charm you, you get on well with, and they announce at the end of the night all they want is a sex buddy!”
* * * * *
Carol meets with members of A Friendly Face more than once, to get to know them and the things they value about a relationship.
The agency has members from all parts of the UK including Scotland, and believes that love isn’t necessarily found on your doorstep.
http://www.afriendlyface.co.uk
What do you think? Do you agree with Carol? Have you had any disappointing experiences with internet dating? Would you like some coaching in how to date smarter? I’d love to hear from you.
Armele P. MBACP(Accred) . Psychotherapeutic Counselling & EMDR Therapy 