Thank you for being part of this year’s Relationships Advent Calendar, I hope you’ve had as much fun joining in the fun as I’ve had creating it ..
I’ve been inspired along the way by the penguins at noomi, whose Kindness Advent Calendar I follow every year, so check that out too.
And today of course is a day for family so I’m off to spend a peaceful day with mine .. wishing you a love-filled day close to your special ones, whoever they are ..
After a while together it’s easy to assume your honey knows everything about you, but stop a minute and think about that .. in reality you go out and learn new stuff about yourself every day, you’re constantly changing and growing and there’s no way your partner could keep up with all those new bits of you ..
So share something your honey doesn’t know about you today .. a new favourite food, or maybe somewhere you’d REALLY like to be kissed (behind your ears, between the sheets or maybe in public?) 😉
Yeah yeah, been there done that .. but gratitude and appreciation are one of the single most important indicators of a relationship’s success ..
So today your task is to think of all the things you’re grateful to your sweetie for .. then pick one and make sure you let them know ..
Today’s a reminder that this relationship is not all about pleasing your other half .. it’s important to take care of ourselves so that we have enough left over to meet our partner half way.
So schedule some time out today, buy yourself something lush, just stop for ten minutes and have a cup of tea, or luxuriate in the bath with some bubbles ..
Happy December .. and welcome to the first day of this challenge that we’ll be carrying out together in the days leading up to Christmas!!
Today is about preparing the ground for the month ahead.
Holding on to hurt from the past can prevent us from enjoying our present .. so today take some time to think about someone who hurt you in the past, breathe deeply and send them forgiveness for 5 straight minutes.
Forgiveness is a funny thing, ideally it takes remorse and taking responsibility from the person who hurt us as well as the willingness to let go on our side.
Sometimes though the other person either won’t, or maybe can’t ask for forgiveness if they’re no longer in our lives .. this exercise isn’t for them, it’s for us to be able to let go of that hurt just a little bit more ..
I’m a media ambassador for the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and I was lucky enough to be asked last year to contribute to an article for Psychologies magazine that was published in the January 2019 edition.
It was a great experience, I chatted with the writer for about an hour about research, theory and my thoughts on how sibling relationships are developed and maintained. We talked about how birth order can play a part in this, as well as family patterns and personalities.
She told me a bit about something she wanted to shift in her relationship with her siblings and I suggested some ideas of things to think about that she went away and tried. A week later she told me she’d been surprised at the shift that had happened and that she was planning to keep going with the changes she was making.
You can read the article here, I hope you enjoy it!
I’ve just completed a fascinating course in using digital technologies in counselling and therapy.
Some of it was a refresher as I’ve been offering telephone and webcam appointments for some time, but it’s always nice to take a full day to work with new and existing colleagues on our clinical practice. There were counsellors in our group from as far south as Devon. Luckily I didn’t have to travel as far.
I’m excited about reaching people who can’t schedule appointments at specific times by offering email counselling. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and now I have some practice under my belt this way of working is available to all my clients.
People who can really benefit from this way of accessing support are those like new parents, carers, people who work away, or maybe those who just don’t feel comfortable speaking with someone for any reason.
There’s a charge for each email you write, and I spend an hour reading and responding to your email. I guarantee that you will receive a reply within 3 working days.
Get in touch if you would like more information.
I was lucky enough to be asked by the lovely people at The Counsellors’ Cafe to write a piece of my choice and I chose Mindful Relationships, because as a practising Buddhist it’s something that I apply to my relationships and to my work as a relationship therapist.
It was fun writing the piece as it gave me a chance to pull out some useful resources for people from the many I’ve collected over the years on being mindful in relationships mindful parenting and mindful families.
Go take a look and let me know what you thought below, or on the Counsellor’s Cafe comments area.
I’m also very excited to be part of the first Mindful Relationships Summit, an online conference from 17 to 21 May 2017 about how we can create and sustain mindful relationships and embrace love as a spiritual practice. Some of my favourite speakers on mindfuless and relationships like Susan Piver, Rick Hanson and Dr Kristin Neff will be there.
It’s absolutely free and it would be great if you’d consider joining me.
Armele P. MBACP(Accred) . Psychotherapeutic Counselling & EMDR Therapy 