Category Archives: Mental Health & Wellbeing

09.01.19
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Back to the daily grind? Or another step forwards?

It’s that time of year again, the air seems fresher, the holiday clothes and suitcases are being packed away, school uniforms bought. In the words of the great Don Henley ‘The summer’s out of reach ..’

I hope you made the most of the long hot summer days (and the rainy ones too) to make the most of being outdoors and late nights with your loved ones.

Some of you might be looking forward to the kids going back so you can finally take some holiday and spend time together. But eventually we get home, and wouldn’t it be nice to hold on to some of that connection, to slow things down the rest of the year.

I was thinking about this for myself. Spending time away from work has been great for family relationships, so I put together some ideas about how to continue this for the rest of the year. Here are some of the ideas I came up with, some of which I do already and some I’m going to try out.

  • Booking at least one full day every month and clearing it as couple or family time.
  • Trying something completely new as a couple or family once a month
  • Putting phones away as much as possible
  • Getting outdoors whatever the weather
  • Being a ‘tourist at home’ and exploring your local area
  • Starting conversations with strangers and friends about what’s fun to do in your local area

Which of these ideas are catching your eye?

Would they be easy or difficult to do, and why?

Could you commit to trying just one of these and letting me know how you get on?

08.16.19
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It’s the thingamyjob!!

When I was a kid my big brother was fascinated by how things worked. Through his open bedroom door I’d see the floor covered in bits of radio, and later on he’d fill the garage with bits of cars and motorbike. He needed to see the component parts and how they worked together in order to understand them properly.

I was the reader in the family, nose always in a book, to the point where my sister and mum would joke they had to remove all reading materials if they wanted my full attention.

Recently I’ve been wondering if we were really that different after all. The way I work is very visual, I use questions to work out how things are working and not working for a couple or in a family and I draw it out in a ‘geneogram’ to get a visual representation of what’s going on and what needs to change. It’s called systemic therapy.

One of my amazing teachers once described the idea of systems theory to me in a way that really helped .. she said:

‘Think of a central heating system. It works great, keeps everyone warm until the day it breaks. We don’t assume the whole thing is broken, we track and check to find which bit of the system isn’t working, and once that’s fixed the whole thing starts running properly again.’

So in a way I’m continuing the good work my brother started, staying curious about how things work, and how to make them work better.

How are you continuing family ways of doing things? How are you different and the same to your siblings?

06.26.19
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Getting Ready for Summer?

Like many parents I have mixed feelings about the summer break. On one hand I look forward to family time, but on the other there’s an extra load of managing childcare, managing expectations and making sure everyone HAS LOTS OF FUN!!

Which of course is unrealistic, so when I notice this is happening instead of putting pressure on myself to rush around making everyone happy I’m making an effort to be more mindful about my own self talk, and reaching out to the others in my family to work out what’s possible.

The lovely people at Select Psychology asked me to write a blog post about preparing for the summer holidays, and you can find out what I suggest by having a look at what I wrote for them.

05.19.19
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Walking and Talking is good for us all

May is National Walking Month and what a gorgeous month to have it in!!

I was out last weekend doing some #mindfulwalking, and I wanted to share some of the benefits with you.

When we slow down and start to notice what is around us, the temperature of the air, the smells (good and bad!), the colour of the leaves or buildings, listen to sounds we may not have noticed before, we activate our pre-frontal cortex which helps us to access wellbeing and self soothing.

Add to that being outside with a trusted friend or counselling therapist, reflecting on our challenges and having a conversation about how we would like to approach the next steps as we literally take our next steps.

Ending a counselling session refreshed and energised, having breathed fresh air and shifted the tension we might be holding.

I’d like to challenge you to invite someone for a walk this month. You could:

Meet your best friend for a chat and a wander instead of a coffee?

Walk the kids to and from school and have a chat on the way about their day?

There are lots more ideas on the Living Streets website, link below.

Who do you know who would benefit from these tips? Feel free to forward, or share this article.

#nationalwalkingmonth #nwm2019 #walkthismay #counselling #psychotherapy #wellbeing #happiness #thriving

01.30.19
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The Woes of Sibling Roles

I’m a media ambassador for the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and I was lucky enough to be asked last year to contribute to an article for Psychologies magazine that was published in the January 2019 edition.

It was a great experience, I chatted with the writer for about an hour about research, theory and my thoughts on how sibling relationships are developed and maintained. We talked about how birth order can play a part in this, as well as family patterns and personalities.

She told me a bit about something she wanted to shift in her relationship with her siblings and I suggested some ideas of things to think about that she went away and tried. A week later she told me she’d been surprised at the shift that had happened and that she was planning to keep going with the changes she was making.

You can read the article here, I hope you enjoy it!