How do you find a trustworthy, qualified counsellor? And what questions should you ask to make sure that you’re about to spend your precious time and money on a service that supports you to build the life you want?

Currently there’s nothing in UK law to stop anyone calling themself a counsellor, and unfortunately some misguidedly think it means telling people what to do. It’s a really good idea to either find a therapist through a professional register like BACP, UKCP, EMDR Association UK or COSRT.

1. Do you get a good feeling from this person? This goes for any counsellor, they can be well qualified, experienced, trustworthy, but sometimes the fit is just wrong. If you’re attending a counselling centre they’ll be used to couples requesting a different counsellor without needing any explanation. If you’re seeing someone who practises on their own it’s perfectly acceptable to say you might feel more comfortable with someone else and to ask if they would recommend a colleague.

Sometimes it can be useful to ask yourself why you’re feeling this way and to be open about it if appropriate. Does the counsellor remind you of an ex girl/boyfriend, the teacher you hated, your boss? Do you feel the counsellor got too emotionally involved with what you spoke about? A good counsellor will listen and accept your reasons, and help you make a decision about your next step.

2. What training has the counsellor undergone and what qualifications do they have? Was this over a number of years or just a few days? Do they continue to attend regular professional development sessions?

3. How long have they practised counselling? Remember to ask not only how many years but how many people they’ve seen over their career and on average how many hours a week they practise as a therapist.

4. Can they explain the way they work in a way that you understand? Most counsellors will have studied a LOT of theory, but an excellent counsellor will also be able to connect with you on an equal footing.

5. How affordable are sessions? Having a happy life is priceless, but in the real world cashflow can be tricky. Does your counsellor offer options such as longer gaps between sessions to spread the cost?

6. Do you need to find someone with flexible availability or could you realistically commit to a regular slot to get in earlier? For most people work and childcare are the issues which make attending sessions tricky. It’s often worth having a confidential word with your boss and/or close friends or family to see if they can support you here. Some counsellors offer flexible timings but you could wait longer to be seen.

7. Does the counsellor discuss how long things may take, ask you to set clear goals and flag up regular review opportunities? Counselling is about looking at how things currently are, why this might be, and also how to effect the changes you both want. A good counsellor will take on board your wishes and give the work a structure so you can keep moving forward to achieve the outcome you want.

What do you think? Have I missed anything out? Have you had any disappointing experiences with counselling? I’d love to hear from you.